Maud and Week 13...

09.59 am Ewan McGregor is in your kitchen. He is wearing an awful mint green apron and making an omelet.

10.00 am Your iPhone bursts into song and you swipe everything off your nightstand in surprise. You automatically press 'snooze', but the rational part of your brain chastises you—"No snoozing! You have so much to do! Why didn't you set your alarm for eight o'clock?"—so you get up. Thankfully, this part of the day does not require much cognitive involvement: you're so used to your morning routine that suddenly it's

10.20 am and you're showered and dressed and sitting at your desk with your toast. (Almost-burnt, the way you like it. Or has it become the way you like it because it always burns anyway?) It is around this time that you start wondering why you were dreaming about Ewan McGregor; you don't even particularly like the guy.

You start up your laptop and check Facebook, Twitter, Gmail, RoAc-mail, ohnotheydidnt, and PostSecret even though it's not a Sunday.

You check them all a second time.

11.00 am Reluctantly, you continue studying for the exam you have the next day. You've already covered 100 pages! Shame you have 150 more to go.

14.00 pm Whoops, late for class. You make up for it by acing your presentation. You try to sneak in some studying while other people are presenting, but it makes you feel like a bad person so you don't get a lot of work done.

17.30 pm Okay, fine—one drink at the Sev. Just one. A diet coke. For your mental sanity. And because you aced your presentation.

18.00 pm You skip hallway dinner so that you can continue studying. You plow through even though you seriously doubt that knowledge about Iranian cinema in the 1960s will ever contribute to your life in any way.

21.30 pm Seeing as the mental sanity argument worked before (see 17.30 pm), you use it again, this time to go for a run and take a nice, long shower afterwards.

22.30 pm Unfortunately, the bright red EXAM! on tomorrow's page in your diary has not sprouted legs and ran off. You make a mental note to ask your diary to teach this trick to the contents of your fridge, and continue studying.

01.00 am Fifty pages and several Facebook chat conversations later, you start to feel a little tired. You have a coffee and take a nap.

01.20 am The internet was right about the great effect of drinking coffee right before a twenty-minute nap. You feel amazing. You feel amazing! You're on top of the world! You're going to nail this exam!

03.30 am You kind of want to die a little.

04.10 am DONE DONE ******* DONE YOU ****** TOLD YOU I'D GET THIS DONE I AM GOING TO ACE THIS EXAM.

04.15 am zzz

Important Health Hazard Warning: Please Read

The stunts and activities performed in this blog were done by professionals and under the supervision of professionals. For your safety and the protection of those around you, do not attempt any stunts you read in this blog. In case you really do value your mental sanity, make sure to keep up with all the reading for all your courses. Preferably, summarize everything as you read it to ensure you'll have enough time to revise properly. While you're at it, write all your papers in or before the midterm break for some extra leeway. Alternatively, you could just plan well, but where's the fun and spontaneity in that?

My name is Maud and I am a second-year student of Linguistics & Literary Studies. These are a few of my favorite things: books, sneakers, loud music, and coffee.